Why Workplaces Can Be Toxic for Neurodiverse People: The Challenges of “Fitting In”

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The AI picture of me is how a corporate Elaine should look apparently. It doesn’t look or feel like me, in fact it’s uncomfortable to look at. But it’s what I tried to be for a couple of decades , always wondering why I couldn’t fit in, Finance, civil service, IT and sales I simply couldn’t be okay. Worse I burnt out, walking to work in tears and dread, waiting to get it wrong again. I did not know I had ADHD then, but I knew I could not be okay in this world. Only when I moved to work in the third sector or FE colleges could I be myself and thrive.

Many organizations talk the talk about equality, diversity and Inclusion, but for those of us whose brains process information differently, the workplace can still be an exhausting and hostile environment. And we are the problem for the workplace not the other way around.

One of the most common experiences among neurodiverse professionals is masking. Masking involves stopping our natural behaviours and sticking (or trying to) the company’s cultural expectations. This can be forcing eye contact, hiding stimming behaviours, carefully scripting conversations, or pretending to be comfortable in overwhelming environments.

Masking helps us navigate the ever-growing workplace expectations, but masking puts us into our sympathetic nervous system constantly. Fight, flight, and flap long term lead to stress, anxiety, burnout, and reduced wellbeing. I remember spending more time checking how I was being perceived and acting than doing the job I was supposed to be doing.

Communication is a key part of the corporate world, usually competencies like ‘communicates clearly and openly at all levels’ are expected, so confident, quick and socially polished at all times.

Neurodiverse people can communicate differently; I know I need more processing time before responding or I respond on impulse usually to my own detriment. Saying yes to everything has been my downfall. A lot of neurodiverse people need written communication to process; some can be blunt and most of us struggle with ambiguous instructions.

These differences are often mistaken for lack of confidence, incompetence, poor teamwork or my favourite an attitude problem. So, neurodiverse workers get overlooked, excluded or being told they cannot communicate. They are often then given ‘opportunities’ to develop skills like presenting or training others that creates more masking.

Open-plan offices are now a way of life and people are being brought back into the office despite productivity being greater when employees work from home. These offices are full of bright lights, constant conversations and noise, phones, smells and interruptions. This is a combination that creates sensory overwhelm.

Minor distractions to neurotypical people are irritating but for neurodiverse employees can be overwhelming and cause an inability to concentrate, physical symptoms even pain. When this is ignored by the workplace, we can be blamed for decreased concentration or productivity.

Many organizations continue to measure productivity and competency through visibility rather than outcomes. Employees who speak frequently in meetings, socialize extensively, or appear constantly busy are often perceived as high performers. Neurodiverse employees excel in a different way, I could hyperfocus on anything new or in crisis, but I needed flexibility for the periods where I could not focus (after 11.30am) that was not an option. Others need flexible schedules, movement breaks, or alternative methods of organizing tasks.

Unfortunately, workplace cultures often reward conformity over effectiveness. Neurodiverse workers are not judged or performance managed on the quality of our work. but on whether we fit a predetermined model of how work should look.

Most neurodiverse workers join a workplace because they find companies that match their beliefs, values, integrity and sense of justice. When values are just writing on the wall, they will struggle even more to mask, their rejection sensitive dysphoria will be activated and will become burnt out pretty quickly. This has happened to me three times in major corporate positions.

To be fair most workplace toxicity is ignorance rather than deliberate malice. Managers do not understand neurodiversity and the range of adaptations that can be used to help their staff. It’s often thought (and I have heard this) that accommodations/adaptations provide unfair advantages. Instead of recognizing them as tools that enable equal participation. There are some outdated stereotypes held by people about how neurodiversity should be presented like  Sheldon from Big Bang Theory or Bart from the Simpsons.

Beliefs and comments like –

“Everyone gets distracted.”

“You don’t look autistic.”

“You just need to try harder.”

“We all have challenges.”

These minimize genuine experiences and discourage employees from seeking support and create a culture of exclusion.

So, we face a big decision do we disclose our neurodiversity, it can lead to adaptations and support but also stigma, ableism and assumptions.

A workplace where employees fear being honest about their needs is not truly inclusive.

It is not our job to educate an organisation on neurodiversity and its duty of care under the Equality Act 2010, but we often end up having to do so. Don’t do this alone join a union to help you be heard no matter what the company’s stance on unions is.

It can be helpful to find the neurodiversity policy and if that does not exist look for the disability policy to help you get the adaptations you need.

Look at websites like autism.org.uk , https://adhduk.co.uk, https://www.additudemag.com, https://www.dyslexia.uk.net, https://www.tourettes-action.org.uk , https://dyspraxiafoundation.co.uk , https://dyscalculianetwork.com  and https://www.tourettes-action.org.uk. They can help you find the adaptations and adjustments you need to help you thrive at work.

Finally get to know your neurodiversity, when do you work best, how do you work best, what senses get overwhelmed and how can you mitigate it?

Get a neurodiverse coach or therapist and work towards accepting your neurodiversity, it is not a fault it’s a difference in brain function, hormones and receptors. It makes us different, quirky or think things from a different angle. It makes our brains work at different times of day to the ‘normal’ 9-5, makes us creative and use creative thinking . 

No matter what, remember there is nothing wrong with you, you process information differently that’s all.